By definition
The next nine weeks are probably going to be the longest yet, of this longest year of college. Between fast-paced classes, quasi-teaching, and 'social life' stress, there's plenty to occupy my time, and it saddens me to think that blogging will go by the wayside. (Hopefully not.)
I just wanted to take a moment to digitally scribble some thoughts down, before all that happens.
Yesterday was the first day of summer. That means spring is over. Remember I used to talk about "surrendering spring"? My seasonal affective disorder. Well, I got through another year of it, and more than that, I did surrender spring. All three previous years of college, I cried my eyes out at the end of spring quarter, because of seasonal depression, stress, and circumstances-related factors. This year, thankfully, I did not have that cry. I still had the same issues, but it was much easier to deal with. It will never bother me so much again.
I've been thinking a lot lately about nervousness as fear, and fear as something conquerable. For example, as a child I learned about God's omniscience and omnipresence, and I accepted that as part of Christian belief. But just recently I started thinking consciously about what that means. Do I really believe God is everywhere, and knows every detail about everything in the world, down to the smallest unit of matter? Do I really believe He is with me every moment of my life?
I believe this, and at the same time, I do not always live by it. Just for a minute, I'll try to imagine what omnipresence means, and then I see how, in daily life, I have not thought or acted like a person who believes it. Fear is natural enough, but so much of it could be eliminated if I took more time to be conscious of what I believe. This is so seemingly basic, yet it could be a turning-point.
In math, they are always telling you to go back to definitions. It's a good thing to do when you feel a little lost.
I just wanted to take a moment to digitally scribble some thoughts down, before all that happens.
Yesterday was the first day of summer. That means spring is over. Remember I used to talk about "surrendering spring"? My seasonal affective disorder. Well, I got through another year of it, and more than that, I did surrender spring. All three previous years of college, I cried my eyes out at the end of spring quarter, because of seasonal depression, stress, and circumstances-related factors. This year, thankfully, I did not have that cry. I still had the same issues, but it was much easier to deal with. It will never bother me so much again.
I've been thinking a lot lately about nervousness as fear, and fear as something conquerable. For example, as a child I learned about God's omniscience and omnipresence, and I accepted that as part of Christian belief. But just recently I started thinking consciously about what that means. Do I really believe God is everywhere, and knows every detail about everything in the world, down to the smallest unit of matter? Do I really believe He is with me every moment of my life?
I believe this, and at the same time, I do not always live by it. Just for a minute, I'll try to imagine what omnipresence means, and then I see how, in daily life, I have not thought or acted like a person who believes it. Fear is natural enough, but so much of it could be eliminated if I took more time to be conscious of what I believe. This is so seemingly basic, yet it could be a turning-point.
In math, they are always telling you to go back to definitions. It's a good thing to do when you feel a little lost.
I enjoyed this. :)
ReplyDeleteThe simplest principles seem nearly always to prove the most difficult to practice. But I’m really glad you’re getting a better grip on this one! Fear is a loser.